Break the Overeating / Shame Cycle
Become Zen Around Your Food, and Kick the Guilt to the Curb
You know what’s funny?
For the longest time, I thought feeling guilty after eating was just... normal. Like, you eat something that someone would call “unhealthy”? Queue the guilt. Order 2 takeout lunches and eat them both? Cue the regret. Like clockwork, after the last chicken tender was finished, that nagging voice would creep in. And the crazy thing? I didn't even think it was something worth addressing. For years.
This is how I rescued myself.
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What does it feel like to be stuck in the Overeating / Shame Cycle?
I carried that guilt around like an old backpack – always there, weighing me down, but so familiar I barely noticed it anymore. It was as routine as my morning coffee.
Does it stay the same over time?
Here's where it gets interesting. Over time, these little moments started adding up. It felt constant. And not everyone seemed to be experiencing those moments, either.
Why am I alone with this?
Short answer, you’re not. But it can FEEL like you are.
I'd be out with friends, watching them just... eat. No drama. No guilt spiral. No need to order the most indulgent thing just because. They seemed to be able to just…leave food on the plate. They seemed to notice when they were “full.”. I couldn’t even FATHOM that.
Those moments were like little cracks in the armor.
When do you finally know it’s time to change?
Some people have an “ah-hah” moment, like seeing a parent or relative pass away or become bedbound due to illnesses like heart disease or diabetes. For some, it’s more subtle (like seeing a picture of themselves they can no longer recognize). For some, a partner or loved one might share their concerns to them.
Well for me, it wasn’t very groundebreaking. One day, it just hit me – like, really hit me. There was something going on in my brain and my body. Something behind these behaviors.
I didn’t know exactly how to define it. But whatever it was, it was driving me to order food like there was no tomorrow. Driving me to finish everything on my plate, and never even pause to observe whether I was full or not. And driving me to feel like every event needed to revolve around snacks, restaurant food, and dessert.
That realization got me mad . That thing was keeping me from treating my body well! It helped me get to over 230 lbs. It made me feel out-of-control. It kept me in a shame-spiral, and made me shut out reality.
After the initial anger, what do I do next? How do I get better?
For me, the anger subsided a little bit. (It still got me fired up, but it was a little calmer).
Then, it got me curious.
So I took action that would help me understand more. Not more about dieting, or healthy eating, nutrition, or fitness. More about ME.
I reached out for professional help. I started investigating what my day of eating actually looked like. I began to track what was happening, and learning about the portions I was actually having (they were really big, compared to how I’m eating now, at a healthy weight).
But the biggest change? I started to look at myself with 1) Proactivity, and 2) Kindness. Proactivity helped me plan out my meals. Kindness helped me include the fun foods I loved in my plan.
And no, it wasn't like flipping a switch – more like slowly turning up the dimmer on a light. And gradually, that automatic guilt response started to fade.
What does it feel like when you finally change?
This is how I felt on the other side.
I didn’t just feel freedom from food guilt – it was like finally being able to breathe properly again.
I wasn’t convinced I was the only one who struggled with food. I didn’t feel alone. I didn’t feel helpless, mad, or confused about what to do.
I finally knew the clarity of planning loving meals and snacks for myself, being flexible when my plan didn’t go perfectly, and using kindness and self-forgiveness to get me to a healthy weight.
Hey, if any of this sounds familiar – if you're nodding along thinking "that's me" – I want you to know something: You're not alone in this. Not even close. And here's the really important part: You don't have to keep living this way. You absolutely can have a healthy relationship with food – one where you actually enjoy eating without that side order of guilt. Because trust me, you deserve that.
Does your coaching address this?
If you’d like to work with me as a coach, you can always apply for a free 1-1 strategy session with me. You’ll leave the session with a clear action plan to help you move towards your goals.
It’s also a great way to see if we’re a good fit for working together long-term.
What if I am a more independent learner?
Join my club for free resources and tips to help you be proactive and kind with your meals, and finally get out of that overeating / shame cycle. It’s awesome; we’d love to have you.
Do you already know you want to work with me 1-1?
If you need a partner to guide you through the ups and downs of your weight-loss journey, my 1-on-1 coaching program is for you.
Can’t wait to connect!