The Depressing Closet Dance
Or, What Your Thoughts Have To Do With Your Weight-Loss Success
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Me in early-to-mid 2018
The Dance
I truly despised the Depressing Closet Dance. You know the one I'm talking about, right? It's that frustrating moment when you stand in front of your closet, trying on a million outfits, but nothing seems to make you feel good about yourself.
It's a dance of self-doubt. You hope that with this piece of clothing, you’ll no longer hate the reflection staring back at you in the mirror.
Each new combination of shoes, leggings, and sweaters you try on is like rolling the dice, but the dice seem loaded to land on snake eyes. You tear off the latest outfit, and that pile of rejected clothes on the bed grows taller and taller.
I want to share with you my personal journey, my struggles with the Depressing Closet Dance, and what finally brought about change.
You see, I haven't done the Depressing Closet Dance in years. It’s hard for me to reminisce about those experiences because it’s been so long since I felt that way.
But recalling that old routine? It's a way to express gratitude to Past-Megan for liberating herself. And most importantly? It taught me an important lesson about the significance of thoughts in the weight-loss journey.
Me in 2017
Getting Dressed at 230 lbs
The Depressing Closet Dance typically occurred right before a family gathering, a friendly party, a work event, or even a wedding. What an emotionally draining thing to do before an event that was SUPPOSED to be the fun part of my week!
The mirror was a harsh judge. My thoughts would always race, as I worked myself up into a frustrated, anxious mess.
“Why can’t these clothes actually make me look smart, attractive, or fun? Why do I look stupid and incompetent in this? It's incredibly unfair. I'm tired of my face, but I could accept it and live with it if I wasn’t also dealing with being overweight.”
"I'm so exhausted and frustrated right now; I could never actually start the actions it takes to lose weight. I'm just not that person. So, is this ALWAYS going to be the reality? Am I going to hate what I wear and how I look for the rest of my life?”
“I’m trapped.”
Me in 2017
The Turning Point
I didn’t set out to lose 100 lbs. I simply set out to break free from the guilt-ridden cycle I had with food.
It wasn’t the Depressing Closet Dance that actually made me change. It was the realization that I could take action, out of hope that I could improve something about my life. I didn't have to set some crazy goal and then fail at it. I could just take one small action.
That action? It was me taking out my computer and booking my first appointment with a cognitive-behavioral therapist.
Based on what I learned, I started to take an objective and honest look at my thoughts and my habits, especially eating emotionally. I began my lifelong food journal habit at that time.
This was the first step along my path to losing 100 lbs and maintaining the loss.
Me in 2019
Body and Brain Changes
As my body changed, my thoughts did too.
I learned to recognize unkind and unhelpful thoughts happening in my brain. I learned to look at thoughts as habitual pathways in my brain, often sparking feelings that manifested as tension in my shoulders, a pit in my stomach, a tightness in my throat, or shortness of breath.
Those unkind thoughts and body sensations were driving me to eat out of habit and the need for comfort. It was astounding how much my lower-brain habitual thoughts were influencing my actions and decisions!
And as I learned to observe those lower-brain thoughts, accept them, and let them pass like the random electrical impulses they are, I realized that my rational higher-self could start running the show. (Your higher-self is the one that helps you keep your long-term happiness in mind, plan your meals, and reach a healthier weight over time.)
When unkind thoughts came, I noticed them but didn't engage with them. I learned to follow them with thoughts like, "Wow, that was a pretty interesting thought I just had. I've had that kind of thought before. It's not really a helpful thought, so I'm just going to let it pass."
The more I changed my thoughts, the easier it was to stick with my healthy actions and lose weight. And lose weight I did!
Me in 2023
A Surprising Change
And then, the Depressing Closet Dance simply went away. I didn’t even notice it at first. I was focused on my daily actions and just plodding forward with my new eating habits.
But once I noticed? I can't stress enough how liberating it felt to walk into my closet without the weight of self-doubt and self-criticism.
Suddenly, I had options that I never thought I'd have. The clothes I once avoided were now the ones I confidently reached for. My reflection in the mirror was no longer a source of anxiety but a reflection of the determination and hard work I'd always been capable of. My thoughts were totally different.
Why Your Thoughts Are The Key
You might be surprised at how much your thoughts affect your daily actions toward weight-loss.
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When you start thinking:
"Today's been exhausting. I'm not capable of sticking to the dinner I planned; I'll order takeout and get back on track tomorrow.”
That's a thought you could choose not to engage with.
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When you start thinking:
"I've worked hard all week and journaled all my food. Now that it's the weekend, I deserve to take time off from journaling."
That's a thought you could choose not to engage with.
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When you start thinking:
"I'm just not a person who can ever lose weight. Why am I even bothering to try?"
That's a thought you could choose not to engage with.
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To distinguish these thoughts that aren't worth engaging with, ask yourself, "Is that thought kind? Is it beneficial? Does it HELP me do the daily actions I need to do for weight-loss?"
If the thought isn't kind or helpful, see if you can let it pass and stick to your original plan. You'll be surprised at how much your behavior will change!
Me in 2021
The Immeasurable Difference in Confidence
Once I noticed that the Depressing Closet Dance wasn't happening anymore, I started to reflect a bit.
I realized that It wasn't just about the clothes. It was about how I carried myself, how I interacted with others, and how I viewed the world. I felt like a new person, and it was a beautiful feeling. The Depressing Closet Dance had been replaced by a much more neutral dressing routine, one where it felt easy to dress in something comfortable that actually made me feel like myself.
The benefits of weight-loss extend far beyond the physical. It's not just about the number on the scale. It's about the measurable increase in your quality of life, and in how you speak to yourself.
Could You Banish the Depressing Closet Dance?
If you're asking yourself whether weight-loss is worth the hard work, don't forget about the prospect of banishing the Depressing Closet Dance.
It's about regaining your self-esteem, your confidence, and your comfort in your own skin. The Depressing Closet Dance is an emotional burden that nobody should have to bear, and the relief of shedding that weight, both physically and emotionally, is beyond words
If the hard work of weight-loss feels daunting, imagine yourself in the future, dressing comfortably and calmly. No Depressing Closet Dance in sight.
You are capable of challenging your unhelpful thoughts, sticking to your Higher-Self plans, and making your weight-loss happen. And best of all? Your future self will thank you for the hard work!
Do you need help with this?
If you need a partner to guide you through the ups and downs of your weight-loss journey, including the mindset shifting strategies above, my 1-on-1 coaching program is for you.
Can’t wait to connect!